Best Parent Ever - a blog much like Stuff White People Like, only for today's parents who believe nothing is too good for their special little snowflakes.
Along the same lines - take your blood pressure medicine and check out this article from the Boston Globe which explains why buying the perfect costume is soooo important to your child's health, welfare, and future:
Lorraine Shevlin has nerves of steel. With the Halloween clock ticking down, the Waltham mother found - but passed up - the very costume her 10-year-old son, Xavier Terrelonge, simply must have, gambling that she'd find the Power Rangers Jungle Fury, in red, and in his size, for less than the $25.99 iParty wanted.
"It's stressful," Shevlin said, as she shopped at Target in Watertown recently, Xavier by her side. And what would happen if, heaven forbid, Shevlin timed it wrong and missed out on all the Power Ranger Jungle Fury outfits, forcing Xavier to wear one of the two ninja costumes he already owns? Shevlin was momentarily speechless. She and Xavier hugged for support.
"He would be an emotional wreck," she said finally.
They "hugged for support"? Please tell me this is a joke. Hey, little Xavier, I have a picture for you - check this out, then get back to me about being an "emotional wreck" cause you can't be a Red fucking Power Ranger:
I bet if this kid knew he could go door to door and people would hand him stuff to eat, he wouldn't bitch about being the fucking pink power ranger:
That's right - I went there. So what? Putting aside the starving kids vs. ungrateful brats angle, do you remember what your costumes were for halloween? We either got those costumes from Woolworth that were made of the most flamable material in the world & came with those plastic masks held onto your face with rubber bands or our mom put a fucking sheet over us and told us to say "Boo" to anyone we ran into.
And you know what? We got a shitload of candy & it was all good. Half the time it was 30 fucking degrees out & we had to wear our coats over our costumes anyway - and this fucking kid is in Boston, so you KNOW he's wearing a coat while he's trick or treating. And is his mother all "Get the fuck over it or you'll stay home and not go trick or treating at all?" No! She's worried that he's going to be an "emotional wreck" if she doesn't get the right costume for him. The good news is that by the time he grows up and is interacting with the general population on a regular basis, I'll be too fucking old to care.
