"I was just thinking this Gustav is proof that there is a God in heaven," Moore said. "To have it planned at the same time. I mean, yes, it would actually be on its way to New Orleans for day one of the Republican convention."
More after the jump...Doofus with a flat tire and gay bike helmet.
Or Her...
McCain / Palin 2008
I would hit it, vote for it, and then hit it again.
Dear Secret Service, by "hit it" I mean I would like to have consensual sexual intercourse, just to clarify.
It is a testament to the greatness of our nation that we are so successful even though almost 50% of our population is irredeemably retarded.More after the jump...
The political convention is kind of a bust for downtown strip clubs.More after the jump...
Michelle Horning, a dancer at La Boheme, said business is slower this week than normal because there is a big lull in customers in the evenings during the political speeches.
Now is a good time to stock up on your LCD tv's, before they get all soggy.
A 12-year-old Tipton lad has demonstrated why it's a really bad idea to light your own farts in close proximity to a can of petrol, after he did just that and ended up with 18 per cent burns to his thumb and the backs of his legs.
Tipton firemen duly attended the scene of the mishap, but the small blaze resulting from the incendiary tomfoolery had already burned itself out, the Telegraph notes. Watch commander Paul Harpin explained: “The boy had been pranking around in the garden having a competition with his cousin, when they were breaking wind and lighting it. Right behind him was a petrol can and that just flashed. I think he must have won the competition but he will have some nasty burns now."The Register More after the jump...
April Fool's Day is still more than seven months away, but someone was having a little fun with the fountain in the middle of Grand Army Plaza today!
Brownstoner.com
See? It was those tire air pressures all along!
More after the jump...Georgian television reporter Tamara Urushadze was shot in the arm today while reporting on live television. Unbelievably she tries to continue her report as colleagues bandage her up. In the dramatic footage she says that her arm had been grazed by a sniper bullet.
BEIJING — After downplaying the incident, Beijing's Olympic organizers acknowledged Thursday that a dancer was paralyzed after a platform collapsed during rehearsals for the Opening Ceremony.Liu Yan, 26, fell July 27 as she was rehearsing a sequence called "Silk Road," in which she was supposed to dance on a painting with swirling scarves around her. The sequence was supposed to last two minutes; Liu is now expected to be paralyzed from the waist down for life.
In what might be considered a new low for the housing market, a home in Detroit sold for $1.Now this is what I call recycling.
The home, located at 8111 Traverse Street, close to the Detroit City Airport, was foreclosed upon last summer, after it was purchased for $65,000 in 2006, according to an article in The Detroit News.
The bank was so eager to sell the foreclosed property, it lowered the price to $1 in a final attempt to find a buyer. According to the newspaper, 14 days after the property was listed for $1, a local woman purchased the house as “an investment property." The property taxes will run the new owner $3,900, in 2009.
At the time of sale, the home had been stripped of its siding, fence, light fixtures, copper plumbing—even the kitchen sink had been taken. Boards that were used to board up the windows were also stolen and used to board up a house down the street, according to The Detroit News.
We happened to have a birds' eye view of this event. At 9-ish this morning, an Access-A-Ride van burst into flames on 8th Avenue. The fire department rushed into action and the fire died quickly, and we're pretty sure no one was hurt. Good job, FDNY
So Chris and I have been watching (mocking) the US women's gymnastics team as they fell on their asses during the uneven bars; fell off the balance beam; and fell on their asses (again) during floor exercises.
During this amazing journey to the Silver Medal, I made the following comment regarding Alica Sacramone:
"That is one scary ass bitch. I would not want to meet her in a dark alley - she looks like she would kick your ass without thinking about it."
So today I happened across, what? Yes, it's Alica Sacramone punching some dude in the face at a frat party:
NY Nerd already disclosed that NBC's "Chinese Expert" is a Kissinger shill who wants to promote McDonald's more than he does good will amongst men and that some of the Chinese female gymnasts are like 10 years old.
So it was no surprise to read in today's paper that one of the young performers not only lip-synced "The Ode To The Motherland" but she didn't even sing it originally.
Apparently the girl who sang the song, was "Too Ugly" to be seen on T.V.
BEIJING — A 7-year-old Chinese girl was not good-looking enough for the Olympics opening ceremony, so another little girl with a pixie smile lip-synced "Ode to the Motherland," a ceremony official said — the latest example of the lengths Beijing took for a perfect start to the Summer Games.More after the jump...
"You get out of Georgia! That's where we make Coca Cola!" President Bush yelled at Putin.
"That's a different Georgia, man of stupid brain," Putin answered. "Georgia is its own country."
"What? Did they secede again? Is it over slavery? If so, screw 'em."
Those of us who know Chris well are used to him mixing up people with similar sounding names. So I have been waiting all day for a Sunglasses at Night joke from him...but apparently Chris hasn't seen this story yet.
The fellow motocross-racing younger brother of Carey Hart passed away Saturday, after crashing on a Connecticut racetrack during a practice run.
So Chris & I watched the Olympics on and off all weekend (mostly on). Starting with the Opening Ceremonies - which honestly are usually pretty silly & boring but were actually truly amazing this time - and all the way up to and including the US Men's swimming team taking a slap at the French last night. We love the Olympics in our house - probably because I am so spectacularly un-athletic and clumsy, I am in awe of the level of talent and dedication of these athletes. Plus it's fun to chant "USA, USA" to the cats' annoyance.
Anyway, there we were watching the Opening Ceremony and we noticed a strange thing - NBC's "expert on China" was some hispanic guy named Joshua Cooper-Ramos. Both Chris and I mocked this decision by NBC - I mean here they are carrying on about the historic significance of China hosting the games and how they are becoming more open and joining the rest of the world and they couldn't find one single solitary actual Chinese person who spoke English & was willing to blather on about "Harmony" during the opening?
So I found this article interesting. It seems that our boy Josh is Henry Kissenger's patsy...
So who is Ramos-Cooper? According to a recent piece in the Albuquerque Journal, he “works as a managing director and partner at the Beijing office of Kissinger Associates.” Which explains a lot.
Shouldn’t NBC identify Cooper-Ramos as an employee of former Secretary of State Henry Kissinger, who is one of the Americans closest to the Chinese leadership and whose business involves opening doors for Western companies seeking to do business in China?
More after the jump...
A coalition of disabilities groups is expected as early as Monday to call for a national boycott of the film “Tropic Thunder” because of what the groups consider the movie’s open ridicule of the intellectually disabled.A coalition group made up of Polish Immigrants also plan a similar protest. (lets hope they protest the right movie.) More after the jump...
Not a good week to be a male black entertainer.
MEMPHIS, Tenn. - Isaac Hayes, the pioneering singer, songwriter and musician whose relentless "Theme From Shaft" won Academy and Grammy awards, died Sunday, the Shelby County Sheriff's Office said. He was 65.
A family member found Hayes unresponsive near a treadmill and he was pronounced dead about an hour later at Baptist East Hospital in Memphis, according to the sheriff's office. The cause of death was not immediately known.
CHICAGO - Bernie Mac, the actor and comedian who teamed up in the casino heist caper "Ocean's Eleven" and gained a prestigious Peabody Award for his sitcom "The Bernie Mac Show," died Saturday at age 50.
"Actor/comedian Bernie Mac passed away this morning from complications due to pneumonia in a Chicago area hospital," his publicist, Danica Smith, said in a statement from Los Angeles.
Here is a video from his appearance on HBO's Def Comedy Jam.
I have noticed that when myself and NY Nerd walk around the city she has this habit of walking around the metal grates in the sidewalk, I see a lot of women doing this when they are wearing high heels for fear of them getting stuck, but NY Nerd is always in flats.
NY Nerd once said she avoids the grates because they will give way and you will plummet to the ground below.
So on one recent trip into Manhattan I looked down and said, "It's really not a huge drop, maybe 10 or 12 feet."
I have fallen out of a 2 story window onto the grass below during my drunken teen years and walked away with a bruised ass and ego.
I would think this would be a cash cow, falling through a grate, you would get enough money to buy some cool electronics and go on vacation and have some left over to squirrel away for a rainy day.
My point is I found this story online, and it happened in Brooklyn.
Firefighters say they rescued a man who plunged 8 feet after falling through a sidewalk subway grate in Brooklyn.Dammit, 8 feet. That's a cake walk, I could manage that fall all the while moaning and groaning till I get my nice settlement from the City of New York. More after the jump...
A Fire Department spokesman says the man was badly bruised and suffered fractures in the accident Friday morning in Bedford-Stuyvesant. He was taken to a hospital for treatment.
The spokesman, Alex Bartley, says it's not clear why the sidewalk grate gave way.
The name of the victim, in his 20s, was not released
John Edwards Admits to Affair, Denies He's Father of Lover's Child.
In the interview, scheduled to be broadcast Friday night on ABC's Nightline, the former North Carolina senator said he repeatedly lied about the affair during his failed presidential campaign.
He told ABC News that he didn't love Hunter, 42, and knew he wasn't the father of her child because of the timing of the baby's birth on Feb. 27.
Foxnews.com
DETROIT - Moments after a judge ruled that Mayor Kwame Kilpatrick could be released from jail if he pays a $50,000 bond, Michigan's attorney general announced he was charging the mayor with two felony assault charges stemming from a confrontation between Kilpatrick and a sheriff's detective.
The detective accused the mayor of pushing another investigator while recently trying to serve a subpoena on a friend of Kilpatrick. The two counts of assaulting or obstructing a police officer are each punishable by up to two years in prison.
"In my almost 20 years, first as a prosecutor and now as an attorney general ... I cannot recall ever seeing let alone hearing of a situation where a police officer trying to serve a subpoena was assaulted," Attorney General Mike Cox said at a news conference.
Kilpatrick spent Thursday night in a one-man jail cell with no TV for violating his bond in a criminal perjury case that has dogged him for months. Then Wayne County Circuit Judge Thomas Jackson altered the ruling of the lower court judge who ordered the mayor to jail.
Jackson said District Judge Ronald Giles went too far by not attaching some kind of cash bond to his ruling.
In order to get out of jail, Kilpatrick must pay a $50,000 cash bond and wear an electronic tether. He won't be allowed to travel.
Interesting, It could also symbolize what your anus will look like after he rams his tax hikes there.
A reversal of the white flight that helped hollow out the inner city beginning in the 1950s.The New Republic, looks at this trend. More after the jump...
From Forbes.
Canton, OH - Home of the NFL Hall of Fame
Flint, MI - Home of Michael Moore
Scranton, PA - Home setting of the fictional NBC Comedy "The Office"
Cleveland, OH - Home of the overrated Rock And Roll Hall of fame and no ATM's
Detroit, MI - Kwame Kilpatrick, their pimp / Mayor
Dayton, OH - Don't know what this city has to offer
Springfield, MA - Home of liberal jerkoffs and Patriots fans
Buffalo, NY - 0 for the Superbowl and the Love Canal
Charleston, W. VA - It's West Virginia so someone is married to their brother.
Youngstown, OH - Bruce Springsteen song, and not one of the 3 or 4 good ones either.
One thing is very obvious the majority of these cities were once democratic strongholds controlled by powerful labor unions. Now... not so much.
Wear the union label proud, Now made in China.
OK, if you take away the kool-aid vote, the tin foil hat vote, the liberal arts degree votes (OH.. I have a Liberal Arts Degree.. oops)and discount democratic voter fraud.
The Map Should look like this. 
An online friend recommended this site to me: FiveThirtyEight.com
This is an electoral projection site. Obama-leaning, former/current Kos contributor, which means that the election analysis is awfully slanted, but the poll analysis is incredibly good. A much better daily indicator via the weighting mechanism he uses than the Real Clear Politics average, in my opinion. If you can get past the occasional Obama cheerleading, it’s worth adding to your RSS feed.
Today's map:
Over the past two weeks, his “celebrity” attacks have stomped Democratic presidential opponent Sen. Barack Obama in YouTube hits.
I am very perturbed by this year's Tubey Awards.
(For those who don't read TelevisionWithoutPity.com, these are awards voted on by readers of the TWoP forums. They include categories for Best Drama, Best Sitcom, Favorite Character, Least Favorite Character, etc. but in the past they've also included such interesting categories as "Best Object" (such as the Island on Lost, the Amazing Yellow Line on the Amazing Race, etc.)
The nominating process has always been a little hinkey. For a couple of weeks they open up threads for each category and everyone makes suggestions of nominees in that category. In the end though it was still up to the site's owners to choose the nominees. That seemed to work out okay when people such as Sars, Wing Chun, and Glark were in charge. Then last year they sold the site to Bravo & a number of changes were made (including a new layout that takes FOREVER to load & is quite possibly the most headache-inducing garbled nonsense you can imagine...but that's a rant for another day).
So this year's nominees were chosen by the new site moderators and I guess they only watch six shows because almost all of the nominees seem to be from Lost, Dr. Who, Heroes, Supernatural, Gossip Girl (Does ANYONE actually watch that thing? Srsly?), and Grey's Anatomy. While I love House & Lost, I really can't believe some of the shows, characters, etc. that they've overlooked. Best Villian: Keamy from Lost?? WTF? Dude, you're REALLY stretching there. What about Glenn Close on Damages? Or that old dude who marries the little girls on Big Love? And that's just two right off the top of my head...
Anyway, I was mildly ticked off but not really worked up about it till I got to today's set of nominations which included "Best Cartoon". All the usual suspects are included: The Simpsons (seriously this show stopped being funny sometime in the late 90s), Family Guy (if this show were half as edgy as it thinks it is it would be a lot funnier), and American Dad (again - does anyone actually watch this thing?). Then there were a couple of WTF nominees: Kim Possible? The Amazing Adventures of Spiderman??? Ooookay... there were a couple of decent inclusions from Adult Swim though, so I thought there might be hope... Avatar (not my thing but I've heard it's pretty good, Robot Chicken (very cool show - but I might argue the "Cartoon" label - if the category was for Animated Series...), and Aqua Teen Hunger Force (which can be funny but is kind of past it's prime and had it's best time two or three years ago). Then I noticed - the one missing entry - the one show that not only should have been nominated but blows all of those other nominees out of the water!!! Where in the fuckity fuck is Frisky Dingo???!!!?!?!?!?!?
Seriously TWoP? I put up with the whole Movies without Pity debacle, the ridiculous new recappers, and the new layout of your site that makes me want to guage my eyes out but this?? This I cannot deal with.
01) Being gay is not natural. Real Americans always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, and air conditioning.
02) Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.
03) Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.
04) Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn't changed at all like many of the principles on which this great country was founded; women are still property, blacks still can't marry whites, and divorce is still illegal.
05) Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were allowed; the sanctity of marriages like Britney Spears' 55-hour just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed.
06) Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn't be allowed to marry because our orphanages aren't full yet, and the world needs more children.
07) Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.
08) Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That's why we have only one religion in America.
09) Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That's why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children.
10) Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven't adapted to cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans.
h/t: Fark
I've really been avoiding a lot of the news lately - I am pretty depressed about our (the US's) choices in the upcoming presidential election. My blogging counterpart, you have probably noticed, is throwing himself wholeheartedly into the McCain campaign. And while I can certainly sympathize with his anti-Obama feelings in many cases, I just can't ignore my anti-McCain feelings on many other issues. That we have come to this - where I can't even choose a "lesser of the two evils" candidate to vote for - is profoundly depressing. My usual "go to" policy of voting Libertarian has even lost it's appeal, as I have some issues with Bob Barr also. When all is said and done though, that is probably what I will do. I know it's a "wasted vote", although here in NY ANY vote not for Obama is a "wasted vote". I don't want to be even partially responsible for putting either Obama or McCain in office though.
Having said all of that, sometimes I find myself sitting in the cafeteria here at work, watching CNN (which is the only channel they allow us to put on the company tv). And CNN has been showing various McCain/Obama speeches live. And sometimes I hear something in a speech which makes me go "HUH?" more than usual & I feel compelled to investigate further. So it has been with Obama's "energy policy". I put that in quotes because it's less of a policy per se than a wish for the future. I saw a speech where he laid out this "policy" & I thought "I MUST be missing a big piece here - there MUST be more than what I'm hearing..." and so I went off to read all about it.
(Now unlike some people, I read all kinds of news sources - magazines, newspapers, blogs - both left, right, and Libertarian-centric. I don't ever take one side's "spin" and assume that's the full picture. In my experience very few things in life are black and white and it pays to get a lot of different angles on any given story.)
It seems that he believes—or claims to believe—that there exists some unspecified technological solution to the world's need for energy, that we'll find it within 10 years with a budget of a mere $150 billion for research into... something that's not oil, coal, or nuclear. Oh and all we need to do to tide us over in the meantime is just take enough money from American oil companies to give every family $1,000.
At the same time, he scorns McCain's plans to use known, existing, working technologies like off-shore oil drilling and nuclear power because they won't kick in fast enough. Or are otherwise flawed in ways that the unspecified technological miracle we'll get ten years from now—after Obama has left office—presumably isn't.
When I see stuff like this, I totally get why people make the Obama/Jesus comparison - because if this policy works, it will be no less miraculous than Jesus feeding the multitudes with five loaves of bread and two fishes.
(Don't worry Obamamaniacs, in the near future I will give equal time to mocking one of Mr. McCain's "policies".)
Personally I think our lazy cats would welcome the opportunity to ride it.
Osama bin Laden’s driver has been acquitted of conspiracy charges, but convicted of providing material support to terrorism.
Military jurors found Osama bin Laden’s former driver Salim Hamdan not guilty Wednesday on terrorist conspiracy charges but convicted him on the lesser charge of providing material support to terrorism.
Hamdan faces a possible maximum sentence of life in prison.
Breibart.com
A FOX News cameraman helped save the life of an injured Marine in Afghanistan — and was injured himself — when the armored Humvee convoy he was traveling in was struck by a roadside bomb Sunday night in the Helmand province, a Taliban stronghold.
Two U.S. Marines were badly injured when the improvised explosive device detonated near their convoy. Though FOX News cameraman Chris Jackson was injured in the blast, he went back to the burning vehicle to rescue one of the Marines.
"The cabin was on fire and I jumped out," said Jackson in a report filed immediately following the attack. "I went, grabbed the sergeant out of the shotgun seat, pulled him out.Lets see the pussy's at CNN do shit like this. More after the jump...
Actor Morgan Freeman is reportedly in serious condition at a Memphis hospital.
According to early press reports, Freeman's car was involved in an accident around 11:30 Sunday night, just north of Ruleville, Miss.
Freeman was airlifted from the crash scene to a hospital in Memphis, Tenn. Regional Medical Center spokeswoman Kathy Stringer says Freeman is in serious condition.
The condition of female passenger in the car is not known.
Barack Obama’s new campaign plane is nothing short of grand. Well, for the candidate that is.
Obama’s section of the plane rivals that of any first class. Recently the front cabin of the Boeing 757 was retrofitted to install four individual chairs that resemble La-Z-Boys. They are free-standing and made of plush leather with pockets on the sides. There is also a booth which seats four for a meeting or a meal.
His chair has his name and campaign logo embroidered on the back top -- “Obama ‘08” on one line and “President” underneath. To one side is a small table stacked with newspapers ready for the candidate’s arrival. The table of the booth is always covered in snacks and cheese and is where Obama spends most of his time during flights meeting with staff and sitting for the occasional interview.
Was there an election that I missed?
This guy is a huge dick.
Obama Heckled By African Socialist Group
Hope and change are his catch phrases, but no one really knows what that means, do they?
Barack Obama got into a heated exchange with a group of protesters during a speech in Florida on Friday who accused him of ignoring the black community.More after the jump...
“How many of you remember the Boston Tea Party?” Republican Rep. John Shadegg of Arizona asked the raucous crowd. “This is the Boston Tea Party!”House Republicans, hours after Democrats took their last vote before their five-week August recess, stormed the empty House chamber, ordered up some pizzas, hooted and hollered, and did their best to keep the cameras on them so they could call attention to what they said was irresponsibility on Democrats' part for not passing new energy legislation.
"Madame Speaker, where art thou?" shouted out Rep. Ted Poe, R-Texas, in a glancing rhetorical shot at House Speaker Nancy Pelosi, D-Calif. "Where oh where has Congress gone?"More after the jump...
Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger of California has signed an executive order to sack 22,000 state workers and put 200,000 on the minimum wage.
More after the jump...Garbage collectors would inspect San Francisco residents’ trash to make sure pizza crusts aren’t mixed in with chip bags or wine bottles under a proposal by Mayor Gavin Newsom.
And if residents or businesses don’t separate the coffee grounds from the newspapers, they would face fines of up to $1,000 and eventually could have their garbage service stopped.
You Are 60% Evil |
 You are evil, but you haven't yet mastered the dark side. Fear not though - you are on your way to world domination. |
You Can Definitely Spot a Liar |
 Maybe you have good instincts. Or maybe you just have a lot of experience with liars. Either way, it's pretty hard for someone to pull a fast one on you. You're like a human lie detector. |
So I'll goof around with some stupid memes...
Your Personality Profile |
 You are elegant, withdrawn, and brilliant. Your mind is a weapon, able to solve any puzzle. You are also great at poking holes in arguments and common beliefs. For you, comfort and calm are very important. You tend to thrive on your own and shrug off most affection. You prefer to protect your emotions and stay strong. |
